From the Front Lines of Mommyhood

There I was, enjoying an extra-long shower this morning. (I even had time to shave my legs!) Tristan was on the other side of the shower curtain happily drinking his bottle and (I hoped) drifting off for a little cat nap. I would then leisurely get dressed and ready for my day before we went out to meet friends for lunch.

The reality:

I’m desperately trying to quickly finish my shower before Tristan has a meltdown. He sounded happy on the other side of the shower curtain, but maybe he was just a little too quiet. That’s when I heard the ::thunk:: and the whiny cry. I whipped the shower curtain aside to see Tristan face first on the tile floor. He had pulled a Houdini and escaped from his bouncy chair. I stood there frozen for a minute or two. Not sure what to do as he got up and crawled towards the side of the bathtub. I was standing there, the shower still running and shaving cream on half of my leg. How the heck was I supposed to finish my shower? How was I supposed to pick him up? I was dripping wet. Ugggghhh! He seemed quite amused by the entire situation. It wasn’t until he dumped the cat’s water dish that I recovered from my momentary paralysis and scooped him up. I quickly put him in the Johnny Jump Up so I could finish my shower.

That was just the start of my day.

It’s like he knows. He knows you’re exhausted because you were up half the night trying to get him to sleep in his own bed. He apparently knew I wasn’t completely up for parenting solo from wake up to bedtime today. Boy did he make as many things difficult as possible.

I thought he was going to give me a pass by falling asleep after his Houdini escape and the rushed conclusion of my shower. Then I could finish getting ready without worrying about him, so we could leave the house on time, but nope. He slept just long enough to tease me. Then made it as difficult as possible for me to change his diaper and get him dressed. You’d think I was torturing the kid by having him lay on his back so I can wipe his butt. I thought we were going to make it and only be 5 minutes late. I had both our jackets on, bag in hand ready to walk out the door when he pooped. Seriously?! Back upstairs I went to wrestle him down long enough to change his diaper and wipe his butt again. Then he slammed the toilet seat down on my fingers while spraying his cloth diaper.

Other fun tricks of Tristan’s today include turning around completely backwards and refusing to let me buckle him in his car seat, knocking over a soda on my friend, a diaper leak in his activity jumper (probably because the diaper fit poorly since I barely wrestled it on him), pulling my hair and pinching my neck, and eating dirt from the potted plant. He decided to cap off the day by biting my nipple as I was putting him to bed tonight. (Of course he valiantly fought actually falling asleep). I really hope he doesn’t decide to wake up anytime soon – at least not before Shane gets home and can spend some Daddy time with him.

You can stick a fork in me – I’m done for today.

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2 thoughts on “From the Front Lines of Mommyhood

  1. Well, from the perspective of a non-mommy, you showed up to lunch beautiful and perfect, with a beautiful and perfect child. The soda dumped on me was empty (though the ice down my shirt was cold!) and you seemed totally on top of everything. I’m sorry you had such a rough day, but I can personally vouch for your awesomeness (or at least your ability to take everything in stride!) !

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